Our self-identity is central to our well-being. “Who am I?” is not just a question that we contemplate during adolescence but one we come back to throughout our lives. As adults, our careers or jobs are a part of our identity. Having a job that we love is a goal for many; it can bring about a sense of belonging, a sense of purpose and satisfy intellectual curiosity. A strong work identity can be tied to an overall healthy well-being. There are situations, though, in which work becomes our sole identity. Our culture prioritizes this work identity, often rewarding burnout over balance. We hear, “what do you do for work?” as a first question upon meeting someone new. A common question we ask children is “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, emphasizing that what we do for work is our being. Perhaps it is our own self-imposed pressure that leads to an overidentification with our work identity. Our work can certainly bring us comfort: there is a predictability and routine that allows us to flourish, while other areas of our life may lack that same predictability. Being passionate about our career can be fulfilling, but a complete enmeshment of your identity with work can bring about a crisis if any unexpected challenges cause interruptions or changes professionally. There are healthy ways to disentangle work as an exclusive identity marker. We can learn to be intentional about cultivating and embracing the many parts of ourselves that create a more diverse identity.
Our identity is fluid, changing throughout the life span. It may take time to diversify your identity but when you do, the energy you invest will pay off with a richer and more varied sense of self. Below are some suggestions that may help in the quest for a more rounded identity.
- Space and Time: A first step in disentangling our identity from work is to set achievable boundaries around work. A helpful boundary may be to communicate if you are unable to take on another task at the moment. We often take on projects that can lead to taking our work home with us or staying late to complete the task. By communicating our needs, we can leave our work at work. If you work from home and it is possible, set up a dedicated workspace so as not to blur the lines between home life and work life. Try to adhere to a specific time schedule for work, allowing for a richer life outside of work.
- Ask yourself: What community/world/individual issue is important to me? Look for ways to volunteer to help address this issue. No matter how small or large of an impact, committing to service can add to your sense of purpose and broaden your identity outside of work.
- Explore: Sometimes we are stuck and don’t know how to broaden our identity. Exploring where we live (even if we have lived somewhere for a while) can enrich our lives in many ways; we may find new interests, stumble upon a new exhibit or theatre, or find a café. It is important to note that there may be some discomfort at first. Acknowledge the discomfort and begin exploring in manageable steps. Perhaps, first writing down places you have been curious about and picking one or two of these to explore. Once you begin exploring, give yourself permission to pay attention to what piques your interest. This may be a good starting point to add a new activity into your life.
- Revisit past hobbies or find new ones: Were you a knitter, a ceramist, artist, a musician, woodworker, runner, yogi? Revisit those previous hobbies and see if they still bring you joy. Exploring new hobbies with a steep learning curve can invite novelty in your life which in turn impacts the reward center of our brain. This can lead to overall wellness as and an expansion of our identity.
- Find like-minded people: You may find that joining groups specifically centered around your interests or hobbies leads to new friendships. When we are participating in activities with others, we form unique bonds, and this encourages us to continue participating in the activity. Research has shown that expanding your social connections can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.
- Broaden your view: We often don’t try new things or get out of our comfort zone out of fear: fear of failure, fear of injury, fear of judgement. Give yourself the space to envision something you never thought you would try and push yourself to try it. You don’t have to commit to it if you don’t like it, but you will never know unless you push yourself out of your comfort zone.
- Give the other domains in your life attention: Sometimes when we are immersed in our work identity, we neglect other domains in our life. Give yourself space to review how present you are in other domains and see if there are ways you can step up in more intentional ways. For example, being self-aware of the attention we are giving our various relationships can lead us to be more intentional about how we spend our time in these relationships.
- Expand your definition of success: Often our sense of accomplishment comes solely from professional achievements, status or salary; by creating a more nuanced definition of success that includes criteria outside of work, you can help shift your focus away from work and broaden your identity. Adding in markers for success from your relationships, hobbies, interests, and well-being will aid in your journey of expansion of identity.
Being passionate about your work a gift, but if you notice that your identity and self-worth is completely tied up in your professional life, it may be time to consider prioritizing who you are outside of work. Trying some of these suggestions may be helpful, and talking this through with a wellness advisor can help you start to disentangle your identity from work. There is so much more to you than your work.
